"Get a PICC line", they said. "You'll love it", they said.

"Get a PICC line", they said.  "You'll love it", they said.  Well I got a PIC line and I don't love it.    I mean it's not like I had any real alternative given that most of my veins have collapsed but even still, it is not what I expected.

After waiting for over an hour I was brought into a room similar to that of an X-Ray room or the place where you'd have a CT scan; very cold and very sterile.  A bored older doctor came in and gave me the spiel about what they were gonna do, the risks involved etc. and then quickly left with an air of irritation.  They had me lay on one of those hard, cold hydraulic slabs, covered me with blankets and raised to me to the standing height of the doctor.

Above me there was a giant ultra sound machine and someone came in and strapped my arm to a board.  Here we go!  The "installation" was more like a mini surgery.  Every part of my arm was covered in blue cloth except for the square of flesh that they planned to use for the PICC line.  Next they inserted a painful needle and injected me with something that burned like hell!  Apparently, this was for pain.

Finally they inserted the PICC line and I was free to go.  I went straight to chemo from there so sure, it was easier than the usual hunt for a serviceable vein, but here's what I didn't know:

1. The PICC line has TWO separate lines coming out of the one port
2. The area where the line was inserted still hurts 2 days later
3. In order to flush the line I need extenders for each line.  The extended tubing reaches my wrist and needs to be wrapped around my arm and covered with an armband they provided, which is very uncomfortable
4. The PICC line may affect your heartbeat
5. Saran Wrap DOES NOT WORK to keep your dressing dry during a shower even if your arm is being held mostly held outside the shower.

So two lines means two flushings every morning with saline and heparin.  The extenders are long and supremely awkward to wrap all that tubing around your arm and with all of the hard plastic parts it's painful all the way around because you can't lean on your elbow or bend your arm fully without encountering some clip or hard part that digs into your skin (see photo above).  Finally, my heartbeat. The first day I had the PICC line installed I felt my heartbeat racing.  Turns out my blood pressure was high so I had to rest.  After resting, my blood pressure went down but my pulse was still racing. 30 minutes and an EKG later I was deemed fit to go home.

But my heart continues to race periodically and it is the worst feeling!!  When the nurse came out to change my dressing, she suggested deep breathing to bring more oxygen to the body so that my heart would not feel like it had to pump faster.   What?!  I mean damn, I feel like we should all be a little more concerned!

And I am supposed to do this for the next 6 months?!?!?