Cancer at the Martinique Cafe (Repost from July 30, 2015)

There is a place in New York that is so far from humanity that it teeters on the very edge of reality and so massive that it defies comprehension.  But there shrouded in scaffolding is the entrance to: The Herbert Irving Comprehensive Cancer Center at Columbia Presbyterian hospital.

Yesterday I had an appointment with the world renowned  Dr. Azra Raza, Director of the MDS Center at Columbia University.  From New Jersey, the trip is a good hour and a half.  But on a day like yesterday, the hottest day we've had in 2 years, It felt like an virtual odyssey.  As I sat there filling out the 90 page questionnaire in the cool air conditioning, I continued to sweat.  By the time bloodwork started my face was finally losing its redness and and my limp wet underwear was freezing cold.

The appointment went great (although I have really got to stop crying all the damn time!).  Dr. Raza is brilliant, warm, pretty and extremely confident---I like that in a doctor.  It took me a minute to get used to her entourage of medical students and interns but overall it was a very comforting experience and I feel blessed that Dr. Azra is close enough to get to without airfare (though barely)

Just as my bra and underwear were beginning to dry it was time to take the trek back to work.  So armed with a drawing Dr. Raza made of my bone marrow and the cancer within it and a dying cell phone, I headed to the office. An hour later I stepped off of the A-train and back into the broiling, punishing heat.

I felt so drained from crying, exhausted from the heat, and defeated by the gripping cramps in all of my joints that is par for the course when you have MDS.  I just really needed a fucking win!   And just like in the movies, I looked up and there it was, THE MARTINIQUE CAFE.  I hadn't eaten all day and all I'd had was a Gatorade at the doctors office to keep me from passing out.  I crossed the street and went inside fully expecting to be disappointed by shitty food, bad service and weak air conditioning (it can be difficult to think positive thoughts).

Instead, I had one of the best cheeseburgers of my life and the air was so crisp and cool in there!  I had a diet Pepsi with lime while the waitress charged my phone at the front desk.  I sat there for a long time thinking about my life, reminiscing about the buttery brioche bun my burger was on and decided not to go back to work at all that day.  I was so proud of myself :)