Vidaza!

Vidaza.  VEE-DAH-ZAH!!!! Sounds like a delicious Italian dessert, or an exotic island, or maybe a magical incantation like, Abracadabra!

Not.

Today is day 4 of  my new Vidaza chemotherapy regimen.  It started on Monday and goes for five consecutive days. They say you'll be tired and need to recuperate the week after.  Unlike the Gleevec I took prior to this, Vidaza is given intravenously.  It can also be given by 2 or 3 injections at a time but since their tends to be irritation/rash at the injection site my doctor said intravenous was the way to go (I am still struggling with the "legendary rash of 2015).

As I waited for the elevator in the lobby, I felt light headed, dizzy and slightly nauseated.  All at once I had a bunch of thoughts: I am so tired of feeling sick; I hope I can have a transplant in the next 6-8 months; and I hope it works; and I miss my cousin Jason.  Jason recently died from very aggressive forms of cancer and he suffered just about every moment until it was over.  I'm glad he no longer has to deal with the pain and indignities of being in the throes of stage 4 cancer, but I selfishly miss having some one to talk to (someone who has..had cancer too).  Anyway all those thought stacked up like a sandwich and I burst into tears.  I hate when I do that.  It gets harder and harder to stop once I get started.

Fast forward 40 minutes to the 3rd floor

I'm in an isolation room because I still test positive for C-diff, though I no longer have symptoms thank God!  A pretty Filipino nurse comes in to hunt for a working vein.  I trust Filipinos.  I'm not sure why.  They just seem so...competent.  Anyway, after she inserts the needle and flushes the line, I get IV fluids and Zofran first.  I live on Zofran and Compazine these days because I am just about always nauseous.  After 30 minutes or so, my meds arrive and I get the awesome, extra special VEE-DAH-ZAH!!!!!

 Poof!